Few things are as irritating to a parent as a child who lies. It would be a marvelous world if everyone was honest in their relationships with others. However, as parents we need to realize that we occasionally engage in "white lies" ourselves. The common "white lies" are telling someone you like something when you don't and "being busy" to avoid social situations. It would be idea if your child never heard you say these things. However if your child should hear you lying, never contradict what you have said in front of them. You really do like Janie's puce living room-period. You need to explain why you lied to older childern (not that lying is right). An older child should be aware that they can no longer can be brutally honest with their opinions. Explore with them ways you could be honest without hurting someone else's feelings.
Dealing with the child who has lied:
Never imply the child is bad or try to make him feel quilty. You can state you are disappointed in his behavior and why.
Explain to the child why it is good to be trustworthy. You want people to know your word has value.
Try to understand why the child has lied and find solutions. For example chronic tall-tales may indicate the child does not feel he has value.
Lying to avoid punishment. Point out to the child that others will find out and are usually twice as upset. Lying is not the solution.
Don't set the child up. Don't ask "who did this?" if you already know.
Have consistent rules about types of lying that is unacceptable and the punishment for doing so.
If your child has done something wrong and does admit it, praise him for being truthful.
Chronic lying should be dealt with by professionals.
