The Hunger for Play

Dana Johnson, MSW

Three Sisters Toys

“There is a tremendous hunger in our culture for true play.” This is a quote from Stuart L. Brown, M.D. who has spent years studying play in children. He is among a growing number of doctors, psychologists, child development specialists, and other professionals who are speaking out on the apparent lack of true play in children today. Are they right? Are our children “starving” for play?

To be defined as play, most researchers agree that children’s activities must meet five criteria:
1. Play must be pleasurable and enjoyable.
2. It must be spontaneous and voluntary.
3. A play activity contains an aspect of make believe.
4. The player must be actively engaged in play.
5. Play must have no extrinsic goals. *

While most children probably engage in play activities that meet some of these criteria, an activity has to meet all five to be considered “true” play. Activities for children today seem to be lacking in two primary areas: numbers four and five.

Many toys on the market today encourage passive rather than active play. In this age of high-tech toys, children frequently push a button and are entertained by watching play happen. The construction of the toy sets up the play activity and determines how it will be played with. The same can be said for many other typical activities for children today - television, movies, computer and video games. The problem with these activities is that the child is not creating anything using his/her own imagination. The child is not an active participant in creation of the play experience.

Criteria number five states that play must happen for the sake of play, with any outside goals. Much of what we “play” with children today has the covert agenda of teaching them a skill. Many of today’s toys are “educational” and clever marketing has told parents that they need to stimulate their baby’s brain, use flash cards with their toddler, teach reading to their preschooler. Some of today’s most popular toys carry names such as Einstein, Genius, Mozart, and Scholar. While there is nothing wrong with children learning through play, the point is that learning happens naturally in the course of true play. All children are born with a desire to explore, discover, and learn. The most effective means of accomplishing this is through their play. When playing with water children learn about weight, in selling food in a pretend store they learn about numbers, by using toys symbolically, they are thinking abstractly - a requirement for reading. All of these activities lay the groundwork for learning naturally.

It is interesting to note that although children appear to be lacking in true play experiences, most parents agree that play is important to their children’s development. In fact, research has shown that parents even know the types of play that are most beneficial to children!* If parents acknowledge that play is important and know what types of play are beneficial, then why are children not playing in this type unstructured free play? Developmental psychologists Roberta Michnick Golinkoff, PhD and Kathy Hirsh-Pasek, PhD state that as parents, “we know what to do, but we just can’t bring ourselves to do it. We are afraid that if we trust our instincts, our children will be missing out on learning some critical skills.” Their book, Einstein Never Used Flash Cards, proves otherwise.

It is my hope that parents today will take the lead in bringing back true play to childhood. Just as many of us take back the process of childbirth, just as we trust our instincts regarding attachment, let us also value our children’s need to play creatively and show respect for the importance of play in their lives.

Ways we can each begin to do this:

• Make play a part of your child’s daily life. Set a time for free play, play that is undirected and uninterrupted by adults, each day.

• Allow your child to play for the sake of play. Have no hidden agenda for “teaching” or “learning” during play.

• Provide unstructured, multi-purpose toys. Toys that are not detailed encourage active participation on the part of the child. The child has to use his/her imagination to “complete” the toy. This also encourages creativity and gives the child an opportunity to make believe endless possibilities. In addition, there is some evidence these types of play materials develop out-of-the-box thinking and problem solving skills.*

• Eliminate or limit television viewing. Television is a passive activity. It can also invite a host of other challenges to true play: children reenacting television programs instead of playing out of their own imaginations, exposure to violence and commercial marketing, and contributing to the need to be entertained.

• Be conscious of the images and sensations your children take in. Young children are just beginning to know the world around them, try to give them a beautiful image of their world. Toys that are made of natural materials such as wood and cotton are particularly nice as they have a warmth and quality that synthetic counterparts cannot match. Images that are reflective of the beauty of nature are preferable to characterizations and cartoon-like reproductions.

• Offer your child a life worth imitating. Young children learn through imitation. Watching you engaged in worthwhile daily tasks will give them lots of things to pretend and role play.

• Choose a play-based preschool. Children learn best through play. Research shows that children who attend academically oriented preschools do not enter school with better skills or attitudes toward learning.*

• Educate yourself. Do some reading on child development and the importance of play and play materials. Question marketing of toys claiming to be based on brain research. For example, would it surprise you to know The Mozart Effect was a study done on college kids and not babies?

• Get involved. There are many play advocacy organizations that are free to join and many encourage parents to do so. The Alliance for Childhood (www.allianceforchildhood.org) is a great one. They provide information for parents and you can join their free email newsletter.

Play fosters the growth of healthy children in every aspect of development – physically, cognitively, socially, and emotionally. It really is food for children’s bodies, minds, and spirits. Let us nourish them with wonderful “true” play experiences.

*Kathy Hirsh-Pasek, PhD & Roberta Michnick Golinkoff, PhD with Diane Eyer, PhD. Einstein Never Used Flash Cards. (Rodale, 2003)

Dana Johnson, MSW

Dana Johnson is a former mental health therapist and currently a work at home mom with twin girls. She owns Three Sisters Toys specializing in natural, open-ended and Waldorf-inspired toys.



This article provided by the Family Content Archives

Frugal Fun with Kids in the Kitchen

by Cyndi Roberts

Looking for something fun to do with the kids
this summer? Why not teach them to cook!
It's a great way to have fun without spending
a lot of money!

Sure, sometimes it's a little more to clean
up when the children have "helped" but it's
worth it for the happy time spent together.
Who knows, maybe you're raising the next
Julia Child!

There are lots of things even very young
children can do in the kitchen. When they have
had a part in the preparation of a meal,
children are much more inclined to eat it!

Your toddler can pick out which potatoes to
peel; almost any age child can stir batter
or hold the mixer - maybe with a little help!

It's a good idea to keep a sturdy step-stool
handy for little ones. Also a couple of child-
sized aprons are a good idea!
A pattern for making an apron for your little helper
can be found at:
http://www.cynroberts.com/mywebpage/Article18.html

Children love to get their hands into whatever
you're doing. How about letting them help
knead the biscuit dough tonight?

Are you making banana bread or cake? Let your
son or daughter mash the bananas. And then
they can stir it into the batter.

One of my sons didn't think I could even make
peanut butter cookies if he wasn't here to
put the criss-crosses on!

Here are a few fun recipes, some don't really
require much actual cooking, but they are fun
recipes for kids!

Some of these recipes may contain ingredients
that are not suitable for very young children.

* ANTS ON A LOG *

Celery
Peanut butter
Raisins

Clean celery and fill stalks with peanut butter;
top with raisins.
Cut in approximately 2 inch pieces.
Chill and serve.
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* BIRD SEED (Trail Mix) *

4 cups Cheerios
2 cups M&M's
2 cups raisins
2 cups nuts

Mix well. Place in individual zipper bags for
each child.
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* COCA-COLA PORK CHOPS *

8 pork chops
Salt and pepper to taste
1 cup catsup
1 cup Coca-Cola
Brown sugar

Place the pork chops in a baking pan. Season with
salt and pepper. Mix the catsup and cola and pour
over the pork chops.
Sprinkle with brown sugar.

Bake uncovered in a 350 degree oven for 1 hour or
until the pork chops are tender. Serves 8.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

* PAINTED TOAST *

White bread
Milk
Food colors
Small clean brushes
Paper cups
Toaster

Divide small amounts of milk into paper cups and
add a different color to each.

Using the clean brushes, let the children paint on
their bread. Teach them to paint gently so they
don't tear the bread. And don't let them get the
bread too wet.

Let them drop into toaster and see what you have
when it pops up!
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

When the kitchen is all cleaned up and you're
through for the day, here is one last recipe:

PERFECT HUG

2 people
4 arms
2 hearts
A touch of love
1 pinch of humor
1 sprinkle of glee

Extend arms and wrap them around each other.
Clear your minds, take a look at each other,
then pull yourselves together and mix well.

Serves 2.

Cyndi Roberts is the editor of the "1 Frugal Friend 2 Another"
bi-weekly newsletter and founder of the website of the same name.
Visit http://www.cynroberts.com to find creative tips, articles, and
a free e-cooking book. Subscribe to the newsletter and receive the
free e-course "Taming the Monster Grocery Bill".

Summer Camp Care Packages

Every summer our daughter goes to summer camp. She looks forward
to it every year. I can't believe next summer will be her last
opportunity to go to camp before she goes off to college.

Our daughter started going to summer camp when she was in middle
school and has gone every year since. She finally graduated from
camper and kitchen help to camp counselor this year. Every year I
send her a care package with candy and other treats and she
always looks forward to receiving it.

Our daughter just returned from spending two weeks on a ministry
trip to Honduras, was home for one day, and then is going off to
church camp for a week. I knew we wouldn't have much time to talk
between trips, so I decided to write letters to her to send to
her at camp.

I wrote to her about some of my day-to-day activities and about
what she was missing in the news. I wrote about Hurricane Dennis
and how worried I was for her so far away from home. I told her
she was always in my prayers and how much I missed her.

Just in the two weeks she was gone she missed her baby brother's
hair falling out and her brothers' first colds. I knew she missed
her baby brothers very much and missed their baby hugs and
kisses. I told her about what they were doing and that they
missed her too.

Because we like to spend a lot of time talking about our
spiritual lives, I shared with her what I had been learning in my
daily devotions and shared what my prayers were for her.

I wrote three letters to my daughter to open on different days
and included pictures of her brothers that she likes to carry
around with her wherever she goes. I packaged up the letters with
some candy and sent her care package off to her today.

If you decide to write to your child at camp, here are a few
tips:

* If your children are young and this is their first time away
from home, make sure to send several letters to let them know
you're thinking about them and that you miss them.

* Have other family members write to your child also. Kids love
to receive mail.

* If you have a child who would be embarrassed by letters from
home, just send a care package with some of their favorite candy
or other small items. One year I sent my daughter a pair of
Sponge Bob boxer briefs, and they were the hit of the camp.

* Be creative with your packing. You can use a 2-liter pop bottle
as a mailing container. Cut a slit in the side to place items in
it and then tape over the slit. The kids will get a kick out of
seeing what's in the bottle.

* Depending on how long it takes the mail to get to the camp or
how long your child will be gone, you may have to mail the
package the day your child leaves, or even before they leave.

* If you know any of the other kids at camp, like your child's
closest friends, don't be afraid to send them a note or treat
too. I often send thinking-of-you cards to some of my daughter's
friends, and I know they love receiving mail from people other
than their parents.

In this day and age, letter writing is becoming a dying art. If
my daughter keeps the letters I wrote her someday they will be a
special keepsake for her, capturing an exciting time in her life.

We don't always take the time to do little things for our kids or
tell them how we feel about them. Writing to them at camp is a
great way to keep in touch with them while also sending them a
welcome treat.

Rachel Paxton is a freelance writer and mom of four. For more
inspirational articles and tips for everyday living, visit her
web sites at http://www.creativehomemaking.com and
http://www.christian-parent.com.

Surviving Perfection – confessions of a desperate housewife

By Alvah Parker

Recently I read an article about an attorney who took
paternity leave so his wife (also an attorney) could go back
to work. He was a stay-at-home Dad from the time his son
was 3 months until his son was 9 months. The article
detailed how the attorney initially was sure he would have
time during the day to read, study, and write while his new
son napped. Instead he found his schedule exhausting with
little time to rest. His law practice looked easy compared
to this!

Parenting whether for an infant, toddler or teenager takes
an enormous amount of energy. Sometimes it is physical
energy as with a baby or young child and sometimes it is
mental energy as with a teenager.

As a young parent it didn't occur to me to complain to my
friends or family that I felt disillusioned about the whole
motherhood bit. I loved my children and wanted to be a
"perfect mother". That meant cooking, cleaning, playing,
disciplining etc. all perfectly. To keep that sort of
appearance up is extremely tiring. Do I sound a bit like a
"Desperate Housewife"?!

My own behavior was not the best role model for my own
children. Thank goodness they survived my over
industriousness!

Actively choosing what we want to spend our energy on is an
important life lesson. I had a picture of a perfect mother
in my head and I was trying to be that model. There was a
lot about motherhood I did like but my desire for
perfectionism was making it difficult for me to enjoy it.

Sometimes I got so caught up in taking care of everyone else
in the family that I barely had time for myself. How easy
it was to get resentful and even angry! In those days I
never thought about what I wanted in my life. Hard to
believe but I'm not sure at that time I even knew what was
fun for me!

Perhaps I was an extreme example in a different world. (This
all happened in the late 60s and early 70s,) Instead today
I hear mother's talk about thinking about their kids while
they are at work and their work while they are home with the
kids. That has to be draining too. Ask any mother to make
a list of the people in her life who are most important and
I'll bet she doesn't even think about putting her own name
on the list!

Both mothers and fathers want to bring their full energy
into their parenting. One way to make sure you do that is
to ask yourself, "Where am I losing my energy?" Some of the
most common places are: lack of self care, too much debt,
trying to be perfect, and work guilt.

Once you are aware of your own energy deficiencies it is
time to make a plan to do something about them. Sometimes
the answer of what to do is obvious and taking action easy.
If not then get some help. There are parenting groups,
coaches, therapists, and financial advisors who can offer
advice and support. The next step is up to you.


About Alvah Parker
Alvah Parker is a Business and Career Coach as well as
publisher of Parker's Points, an email tip list and Road to
Success, an ezine. Her clients are managers, business
owners, sole practioners, attorneys and people in
transition. Alvah is found on the web at www.asparker.com.
She may also be reached at 781-598-0388. To learn more
about parenting issues go to the website
www.awesomeparents.com for tips and ideas about parenting.
The site also offers conference calls for mothers and
fathers to share their parenting issues and ideas.

10 Tips for Kids Simple and Organized Living

Tips to help you and your children move towards Simple and
Organized Living!

1.Outdoor Toys - Organize outside toys by keeping a large
plastic tub or crate on the porch/deck or in the garage.Go
through and throw away toys that are broken and give away or
sell toys that have been outgrown or are no longer in use.

2.Snacks - Keep childrens dishes and snacks on low shelves so
they can access them.

3.Baskets - Keep baskets or crates for toys in each room to
avoid scattered toys everywhere.

4.Videos - Label all video movies and turn them so that kids
can easily find the movie they are looking for. Go through
and do away with those that you no longer watch.

5.Make a Sandwich Center - Simply put lunch meat, pre-sliced
tomatoes, lettuce and what ever else your children eat on
sandwiches in a plastic container and label it "Sandwich
Center" and learn them to make their own sandwich.All they
have to do is open the fridge and grab the "Sandwich Center"
which contains everything they need to put the sandwich
together and return the container to the fridge when
finished.

6.Chore Time - Give children appropriate chores for there
ages. It is so easy for us as parents to do it ourselves to
save time and arguments but this is not doing our children
any good in the long run. Give them a choice of chores,
trade chores among each other in order to combat boredom
make it a fun process and they will want to do the
chores.When they do a good job let them know and likewise if
they do a bad job because they are in a hurry let them know
that also and have them do it better next time.

7.The Night Before - A great way to relieve morning stress is
to do what you can the night before. Children can take a
bath, lay their clothes out for the next day, have parents
sign notes, get their backpacks, jackets and books together
and have ready at an accessible place.

8.Donate Toys - Have children go through toys and donate them
or help them have a yard sale and earn extra money.

9.Pick Up Time - Have kids use 5 - 10 minutes daily to pick up
their room and this will save alot of time when room
cleaning day rolls around because they have stayed somewhat
ahead of the mess.

10.Backpacks - Have kids clean out their backpacks and launder
or wipe them clean once a week.Throw away all papers that
are no longer any good and only return the items needed for
the week or next day.
----------------------------
Angela Billings publishes an online newsletter Home and
Family Ezine.
http://www.homeandfamilyezine.com

Building Teen Character: Volunteering for Community Service

by Rachel Paxton

Volunteering in the community is a great way to serve the people
in the area where you live. Many non-profit organizations are
run by people who give a lot of their own time and money to make
your community a better place, and volunteers help these services
to continue.

In addition, community service is a great way for teenagers to
become aware of needs outside themselves. Don't wait until your
teenagers are required to perform mandatory community service to
help them get more involved in your community.

Our first experience with volunteer work came about when our
daughter was about 12. I was working full time, and we were
looking for something for her to occupy her time during the
summer. We contacted our local "volunteer center" to find out
about available volunteer opportunities in our community.
Through that center we found out about a local day camp for
disabled children. It is administered by adults but almost
completely run by teenagers. The older kids (ages 16-21) are
employed by the organization as camp counselors, and the younger
teens (ages 12-16) are volunteers. Each disabled child has a
teen "pal" for all activities. They go to the park, go swimming,
and a variety of other activities for about 4 hours a day.
Volunteers sign up for 1 week at a time, and can volunteer all
summer if they want.

This kind of volunteer work isn't for everyone, of course, but
our daughter had a great time volunteering for this organization
and worked there every summer for four years. A lot of the
volunteers come back as paid counselors when they turn 16. The
younger teens also love hanging out with the older teens, and the
disabled kids love all the attention. This service gives the
parents of these kids very needed time off and is a wonderful
resource in our community, while also offering a unique
experience for the volunteers.

There are many other types of volunteer work. Other types of
services our daughter has been involved with:

* Your local humane society is a great place to volunteer as a
family. My daughter and I used to go to our humane society and
play with the cats and take dogs for walks. They called this
"pet socialization", so that the animals would have an easier
transition into new homes. We had a great time doing this
together. Our daughter also organized her own yard sale and
published a newsletter for kids to raise money for the humane
society.

* When our daughter was 16, she became involved in a teen
"suicide hotline" program sponsored by our community. She went
through an intensive training program to teach her how to talk to
teens who are considering suicide. Teens volunteer to man a
phone line in 4-hour shifts.

* Local churches are great resources for volunteer opportunities.
For several years I was a youth group leader in our daughter's
high school youth group. One year we spent a week in Billings,
Montana, working in their homeless shelter and food bank. To me
this was quite an eye-opening experience, especially talking to
and sharing experiences with the people who work at these places
every day. Last year our daughter spent a week in Idaho fixing
up and updating several schools, and this year she is travelling
to Honduras for two weeks.

The services performed through volunteer work are only a portion
of the benefits of volunteering time in the community. Teenagers
by nature are very often self-focused and need to be offered
opportunities to reach out of themselves and help others. The
earlier they learn to do these things the more natural it will
become for them later in life. Other benefits of volunteer work
are valuable experience for applying for jobs and college
scholarships.

Rachel Paxton is a freelance writer and mom of four. For more
inspirational articles and tips for everyday living, visit her
web sites at http://www.creativehomemaking.com and
http://www.christian-parent.com.

Baby Sleep Tips

Getting a baby to adjust to a normal sleep schedule can be a challenge for new parents. Here are some tips so that both you and your baby can get a good night's rest.

1) Establish a routine - A kiss good night or stroking the baby before sleep can calm the child, or bathing and cleaning the child before bed time. Make sure to repeat these patterns. Once the baby becomes familiar with this routine, they will know that it is time to sleep. Also, make sure the baby sleeps in the same place and in the same conditions as much as possible.

2) Try lullaby music - Lullaby music can calm the child as can white noise CD's. The sound of a vacuum cleaner is also known to have a soothing effect.

3) Make sure that the room temperature is not too hot or cold and that the baby is in a location that is away from any noise or distractions that may cause the baby to awaken.

4) Shorten nap time during the day - If the baby sleeps too much during the day, then he or she may not be able to sleep as well at night. When napping, keep the lights on and try not to give the baby any cues that it is bedtime by avoiding the night routine. No need to wake the child from napping, but if conditions are brighter and a bit noisier, then the baby will probably wake up on its own.

5) Rocking - Rocking and massaging the baby can relax the child and this may be good as prelude to sleeping through the night.

6) Read a story - Read a story or spend some time with the baby before bed, instead of just dropping the baby off in the crib and leaving. This extra time will allow the baby to transition into sleep.

7) Feeding - Make sure the baby is getting good nutrition. If you must feed the baby in the middle of the night, make sure to keep the lights dim so as to not disturb the baby's sense of time.

8) Make sure that it is quiet at night and that there is activity during the day. Babies need to learn the difference between night and day.

About the Author - Criss White is a professional web writer on baby and new mother topics for baby and pregnancy websites. For more related articles, go to Baby Lullaby and Baby shower information.